We've had a pretty good January so far. We had a fun New Year's Eve celebration and went out with friends. Other than that, we've just been working away. I find that when I get home, I just want to crash and enjoy the kids instead of writing.
It has been a little tough though -I guess. I can't stand this time of year and the sub zero temps we've had for the greater part of the month make it hard to feel good about anything. I notice my SAD is pretty prominent and the foreboding I usually feel in January is back in top form this year. All the world events (coupled with being cooped up) just start to wear on me when the days of sun are short and the cold is intense. There's a reason winter is referred to as "long" and "hard."
It also doesn't help that my cousin's girlfriend, Jayme, was in a horrific car accident over the weekend - she nearly lost her life and is certainly not out of the woods yet. She'll be at Mayo in Rochester for the better part of the next few months... I think that is what's really bothering me and causing the SAD to peak. I've known too many people in the past few months who have been in accidents. And, I've know too many people who lost close friends as the result of vehicle accidents in December. I guess it's just got me a little jumpy. I am aware of my mortality and the reality of the past few months has made me overly nervous. It doesn't help that the roads this winter have been horrible. It is literally dangerous to drive around the corner this winter. I just want it to be over...
But, as always, I know I have a lot to be grateful for. And, I know I should try to focus on that instead. I know that winter is tough for everyone, and I shouldn't stew in self pity...so I'll focus on things that are good.
The kids are good. Jeff is wonderful. I still can't believe how blessed I am to be married to my best friend (REALLY). It'll be 10 years this summer! I still LOVE my job. I can't believe I get to go work with awesome people everyday. I mean, I end up in tears from laughter on a daily basis - primarily thanks to Ann and Martha, our office staff. I am enjoying the joy of Josh and Marissa as they look forward to their wedding (Josh is my assistant). My boss thinks I am doing a good job. My parents and in-laws are great. Jayme is still alive. I have a wonderful home I can afford. The kids I work with keep me smiling and remind me that I have the opportunity to make a difference. I have reconnected with some of my best friends from high school via Facebook. Jeff and I have jobs that are secure as we face recession. I could go on and on. And on.
But, still...I need a little faith...
"But I will sing of your strength,
in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress,
my refuge in times of trouble.
O my Strength, I sing praise to you;
you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God."
Psalm 59: 16 - 17
2 comments:
Wow, Andrea. So much has been going on for you! I am sorry about your cousin's girlfriend.....I really hope she recovers fully, and quickly.
I completely hear what you're saying about being jumpy about the winter driving. Especially with our little two-door Focus, I've gotten to the point where I'm nearly having an anxiety attack if the roads are just a bit icy. I think the roads have been worse this winter, though...one way states are cutting costs???!! I certainly hope not.
I hope you feel better soon. Let's pray for an early spring :)
Hang in there, Andrea. We're gaining a couple of minutes of light each day... it'll start adding up soon!
Hope you're able to get plenty of rest and time with your family!
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