And Baby Makes Three...

It's been a busy few weeks, as many of you know. Jeff and I are just starting to recover from the miles upon miles driven, and it doesn't look to slow down anytime soon. This week, we both are BUSY with our Masters work. The semester is wrapping up and we both have large assignments to do. Actually, let me correct myself. Jeff has A large assignment. I have MANY large assignments. I guess its a mix of procrastination and being busy, but I have put off too much to then end. I just hope I can get it all done. And, this weekend, we head out to Dickinson for my great-aunt and great-uncle's 50th wedding anniversary. It should be a great time. We will see Katie and her family, swim some, and maybe head to the zoo.

So, the title of today's blog....Baby makes three! We are pregnant with our third child. I have known for awhile, but with my history, I wait to tell people. I had my 10 week visit yesterday, and all looked well. There's a little one with a FAST heartbeat just growing and growing! I am excited, anxious, nervous, happy and scared. I was such a wreck on the way to the appointment yesterday! I was never that nervous for any of Alex's appointments! I think I just was worried that I had miscarried again. But all looked well, and hopefully, all will continue to!

So, along with the nerves, I have all kinds of feelings. Like - what will I do if it's a Girl! How do I come up with a third boys name? How do I not sleep for another few years? What will I do if its a girl :) How do I NOT gain 80+ pounds? What do I do to NOT be a wreck and drive my Dr. crazy? What do I do if it's a girl? LOL. People who do know have asked if we are really hoping for a girl, or if that's why we wanted a third. I don't understand that. I just think any baby is such a gift. I don't know why there has to be a motive for wanting to have a baby. Now granted, # 3 wasn't planned (FYI Alex wasn't either!!!) but we certainly weren't trying just on the off chance it would be a girl. It's not up to us anyways! I still am convinced I am meant to be a mom to boys...we'll see in November.

Also, as a side note. Does anyone have any great ideas for names??? In fact, lets make this a question of the day... What would be your picks for a boys name and a girls name for Paulson child 3?

A Sad, but Joyous Weekend.

Hello.

It has been an exhausting weekend. On Friday night, we decided to head to Mpls. We left home at 9:45pm (not such a great idea with a 1 and 2 1/2 year old) to go see Grandma. We got to the hospital at 2:00am. Jeff's uncles were there and we stayed to talk for a bit, until we decided the boys needed some sleep. Lucas, Alex and I got a hotel and Jeff stayed with Grandma so David and Wayne could get some sleep. Saturday morning, we got to the hospital at 8:00 am and Grandma had a roomful! What a testament to this wonderful woman's life. 89 years old and easily 30+ people there to say goodbye! The morning was wonderful, because we all got to talk and bond as a family. At 11:45, a bunch of us decided to leave, as Lucas and Evy (a 2 year old second cousin) were getting cranky. Grandma died at 12:30. Jeff was there, as well as his cousin Ginny, and three of Grandma's four kids. It was a sad moment, but she went peacefully.

A few weeks ago, Grandma had a dream that there was a spiral staircase, perfectly white, and Grandpa Paulson was coming down to meet her. I am sure he was there and she is dancing in heaven with him and so happy to be our angel...

Watching someone die is really an interesting process. It is difficult, no doubt, but at the same time, with someone Grandma's age, it is also peaceful, the way the body just gradually shuts down. I also believe that Grandma was likely having conversations with God and knew we were there to let her go. Towards the end, she was only taking about 4 breaths a minute. Jeff says they knew she was gone when she didn't breathe after 22 seconds. It is sad, no doubt, but at the same time, a relief because she is no longer suffering.

A story from the nursing home...

On Monday, Grandma woke up early and got dressed all by herself for the first time in about a year. She even put her shoes on and styled her hair. She came out of her room in a happy mood, and insisted that her sister Ida was on her way to see her (Ida lives in Fargo). When Phys. Therapy came to work with her, she told the guy "I don't need your help anymore. I'll be walking on my own soon." She had her stroke sometime between 6 and 7 pm

She knew-she felt that it was soon her time to go. If that isn't a testament of faith and promise, than I don't know what is...

So, to Grandma, who is now with Jesus and all of her people, we love you and miss and we'll be seeing you.

To Everything There is a Season

I hope every one had a great Easter weekend. We did - it was tremendously busy, and so much fun. On Saturday afternoon, we had Alex's first birthday party. It was a wonderful day. Parrills, Lauckners, and Groves made the trip down, and my parents and Steve, and all of Jeff's family were here. It was so much fun. Lots of little kids running around, good conversation and Alex received some adorable clothes and toys! It really was a fun day. Now, if the weather had been a little better - warmer - it would have been perfection, but nonetheless it was fun. I have posted some pictures below.


On Sunday we got up and went to 9:00 church. It was wonderful to be at Easter service and hear the 'Alleluia, Christ is Risen Indeed' after the reflection of Lent. Our pastor gave a wonderful sermon about "Awakening" and showed some images of life and death, and it was so moving. And, she played the images to a wonderful song by a local artist...it was awesome. I have to say though, that she if fabulous. Her sermons are always so meaningful and moving.
We went over to mom and dad's afterward and visited with Parrills, Lauckners, Steve and my grandparents. We also managed to get some good pics of Alex and Braxton...


But, as always, there is a " time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance." After a wonderful weekend of joy and the gift of rebirth of Easter, we are reminded of death as well. On Tuesday morning, we received a phone call that Jeff's grandmother is failing fast. Apparently, she was unresponsive at her nursing home on Sunday evening and is now in a coma. Per family request, she is on no life support or sustenance, so it is just a matter of time. Lyle (Jeff's dad) headed to Mpls. early on Tuesday morning, and his siblings are all there. Jeff drove down this morning, and many of his cousins are or have made the trip to see Grandma one last time. Though she is not my grandma by blood, she is a wonderful woman who's sprite attitude and wonderful sense of humor was so appreciated by all. Way back when I first started dating Jeff, she welcomed me with loving and open arms, as she has everyone who has entered the Paulson clan through marriage. It is now just a matter of time, though she has been failing for a while. But, she kept such a wonderful attitude during the last few months that it was easy to forget that she was gradually losing her memory... She never let on that she has been in pain and joyfully laughed away when she forgot who I was, or Jeff, or her own children...

We have said for a long time, that it was just a matter of time, but that phone call is still hard to answer, for the sadness and loss is hard to face....

I wish you a wonderful week. Please take a moment to think about those you Love and thank God that we have family and friends to cherish.

It's A Special Day

Hello - today is Alex's first birthday!

A year ago today, I was admitted to Meritcare at this time, wondering why in the world I had to be at the hospital at 6:30am if the nurses didn't even change shift until 7:00! At this point, I had changed into my gown, and was waiting anxiously to see for the first time the little creature inside me. Six easy labor hours and three good pushes later, he was here - all 10 1/2 pounds of him. Last night, I lay awake for quite awhile thinking about how a year prior, I was so nervous and so excited to meet Alex. I was worried about how my relationship with Lucas would change. I was apprehensive about the reality of the cleft. But most of all, I just could not wait to meet my second little miracle from God. I can assure you that night, I only got four hours of sleep!

So, how do you measure a year? The song title from "Rent" made me think of how one measures the first year in the life of a child. In bottles? In jars of baby food? In "firsts?" In diapers? In outfits? In smiles? In surgeries? And, like the song, I think "how about Love." I love this little guy more than anything in the world - yes, love seems like a great measure for Alex's first year.

As I think back on the past year, I remember being worried about what he would look like - I was concerned about the severity of the cleft. I remember the first three Loooooonnnngggg months, as the poor boy tried to learn how to eat. I remember the worry and hand-wringing during his first surgery, and crying when he came out, because he looked so different, yet so much the same. We have rejoiced in his progress, and his progression from infant to toddler. We are so, so very lucky to have children, and today, I give thanks to God for the gift of Alex.