No Go...

So, I didn't get the job. Long story, long week, long face. But I am trying very hard to put it in perspective and realize that it wasn't meant to be and that there is a reason. I can deal with that. In fact, I didn't even get upset when the principal called tonight. I thanked him for giving me the chance to interview, asked what he could do to help me, and said I just appreciated the chance to share my ideas. He told me how much he appreciated how well I was taking the news. If they feel they made the right choice, then great and I know that it will be good for the school. Only problem is that I really like him, and looked forward to having him as a potential boss...

What I am having a harder time with is feeling that I won't get a chance anywhere. I really, really felt that if this one didn't work out, I don't have much of a prayer anywhere else. They say in education, it's not what you know, its who you know - and frankly, I don't know anyone else. So I have shed plenty of tears over the fact I may not even get another interview, and if that's the case, then what the hell do I do?

I subbed in the district today, and had a great 1/2 hour conversation with the principal who called me this evening to tell me I didn't get the job. He talked with me at length about how I'd make a great admin/superintendent or that I should really teach college. Problem with this? Yeah, I gotta get 3 years in somewhere, ANYWHERE, before I can do either of those two. So, again, I am left going "now what." Fortunately, he said he'd be willing to call any district I apply to, and explain why he couldn't/didn't hire me (it's complicated). And, he also said he'd write me a new letter of recommendation. I feel bad for him - I think he had a harder time calling me than I had getting the call...

I just keep thinking to myself that this will build character. I know that during the time we were losing babies, it made no sense, but that 4 years later, I hold my three kids and it fits...God has a plan. It is awful, and hell and doesn't make sense while you're going through it, but in time, He makes it clear why it goes the way it does! Perspective, right?

I'm Still Here...

I am!

I just thought I would check in for those of you who may be wondering why I haven't posted in forever. Of course, life is crazy as every and the roller coaster of applying for jobs continues. So far, 24 applications in, one interview and a storm of controversy surrounding it--- it isn't over yet. We'll keep you posted on that front. I also attended the MN job fair in Mpls on April 14th and was discouraged to learn that no schools need Social Studies teachers, but with my 20 credits in EBD about 30 states will take me to teach that. Hey, it's an option!

On some happier notes:

• Alex turned two. My precious boy turned two on April 3rd. We had a great birthday party for him. It was all about Elmo! He had such a great day and was so cute, if I do say so myself.
• My music team, Voices of the Cross, is helping immensely during this storm. I feel so fortunate to go to church every Tuesday night and just sing. It's such good medicine for the soul. And the music - I find new meaning in every word every time. I feel so blessed that I have faith.
  
• Lucas is thriving in preschool. He loves to sing and he and Alex duet "E-I-E-I-OOO" in such a way that makes me smile.
  
• Lisa's getting so big, and loves to smile and play! Can't believe she's 5 months on Saturday!
• Our friends had their first baby, Ingrid Maren! Congrats to them!!! I feel bad that I made Steve choke up when we were talking about the miracle of children. But, we were both crying :)
• Jeff is still hanging in there with me during this. I think he's learned to appreciate working and NOT looking for a job. I don't thank him nearly enough for his strength and support. But I love him for sure, and maybe when the storm has cleared we can get away for a day or two.
  
• We are taking a vacation in June. We're going with my cousin and family to SD for a "Thomas the Train" weekend. The kids will love it, the rooms will be cheap (she's a GM for hotels), we'll be outside, and we'll be "getting outta Dodge." What more can you ask.
  
• Not all of my plant died over the winter. My day lilies are coming back and the green reminds me that hope springs anew every spring.
  

For those of you I have neglected in the past three weeks, please forgive me. I am not trying to steer clear --- so, one of these days, I'll get back on track!