Six Months Later...

I update again. Wow. I was pretty good at the blogging thing for a while, but truth be told, life got in the way, and the little time I have keeps me from writing. I decide I'd rather spend my time hanging out with my kids and husband, and don't spend any time updating the blog. I'm a little sad about that. How many things have I not recorded, or written about, ruminated about or taken time to ponder. I look back at the posts from a year + ago and I think to myself - at least I will remember something of life during those hectic days.

That's what I've been thinking a lot about lately - the speed of life and how fast time goes. My oldest is 5 years old. Five! Alex is three and my baby is going to be two in a few short weeks. The baby that I wrote a lot about when I was expecting her. I hope I don't regret keeping track of the days - I'm sure I will. "They'll never remember, you'll never forget - that's the old adage of moms...

I have been thinking a lot this week about how unnecessary all of the technology is that we subject ourselves to on a regular basis. All the Facebook, internet, etc. etc. No one writes anymore. No one sends a friend a letter or note just to see how they are doing. It saddens me, when I think that 50 years ago, that's how people communicated. They looked forward to going to the mailbox to hear from near and dear friends. I go to the mailbox to get junk mail. And bills.


So how can I choose to simplify my life, and get back to the basics of life and humanity? God did not intend for us to be solitary creatures who sit in a room staring at a screen. We were created to be caring and embracing - loving and connected. I want to get better at it. I need to make the commitment to start. Now...

Week Off.

How time flies - seems to be a common phrase on my blog. But this time, it's in relation to my job. One year ago yesterday, I made the phone call that has changed my life. Don't get me wrong, my kids are obviously more impactful than that phone call, but I digress...

As any of you who read my blog know, I had spent the three months prior to May 17, 2008 trying everything I could to get a teaching job - to no avail. One year ago, I went out on a limb and a prayer, picked up the telephone and called one Dale Wolf at Atonement Lutheran Church. I told him I was a former teacher with a heart for Christ and kids and that I'd seen an advertisement on Atonement's website that expired 1 month prior (thank God they didn't keep the site updated then!) Jeff and I were on our way to Mpls for a conference (him) and a seminary tour (me). I spent the 30 minutes between Alexandria and Sauk Centre talking to Dale. At the end of the call, he asked me to fax or email my resume. One week later, I was in his office talking about the job, my faith, etc. The following Sunday (Memorial Day '08) I attended church and he offered me the postion.

Wow.

This job. It is exhausting. It's tiring. It takes me away from my kids a few nights a week. It requires weeks that run in the 70 hour range sometimes. But - it is exactly what I've spent the past 4 years trying to do.

People always ask me if I'll ever go back to teaching. The answer is a resounding no. I hope to be at Atonement for a long, long time. Teaching is a great and honorable job. I know that. But, at Atonement, I am blessed to take teaching to a different level. I get to impact kids. I get to mentor them. I get to form relationships with them. I can give them a hug, tell them a funny story, and take them out to coffee, pizza, or ice cream. I get to tell them Jesus loves them, and pray with them and for them. I get to work with amazing people, who make me laugh every single day. And, I work at a place where family truly comes first - giving me the flexibility to do what I need to and want to with my kids. I am SO blessed...

The tradeoffs - there have been a few. There have been hard times, and times where I thought "arghhh!" I have missed bedtimes. I've been gone for extended periods of time. But not once have I thought I need to find a different job. Not once have I thought I don't like it. I spend every moment thinking about what we can do better and different for our kids.

So, after nearly 1 year at Atonement, I am taking a week off. To recuperate, re energize and reflect on the past year. To hang out at home, get some rest and thank God for the blessings he has bestowed upon me. But, more than anything - I am reflecting on that verse from 1 Corinthians....

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has in store for those who love him.

I would never have seen myself here. I am so glad GOD is in control...

Mother's Day

The hardest job you'll ever love. It's full of laughter, smiles, stress, tears and decisions. There's days you feel like a total failure. Days that you know you are letting your children down. Then, there are days when you feel like you're on the right track. That your kids are turning out just fine. All at once, you are proud of them and the job you are doing. Your regret every time you've yelled or disciplined, but rejoice that you've maintained your composure and don't give in to violence or spanking. You rearrange your entire life for your children. Wonder about every decision, every choice, every minute - if it's what's best for your kids. Most of all, you thank God that he's trusted you with his children and you hope you are making HIM proud. You lay awake thinking about how quick time flies and coming up with ways to stretch these precious days as far as possible - because 18 years will come and go too fast...


Mother's Day 2009 - Lucas: 4 1/2, Alex:3 Lisa:18 months



Mother's Day 2008 - Lucas: 3 1/2, Alex: 2 Lisa: 6 months




Mother's Day 2007 - Lucas: 2 1/2; Alex 1 year; Pregnant with Lisa (1 month)




Mother's Day 2006 - Lucas: 21 months, Alex: 6 weeks



My first Mother's Day - 2005. Lucas: 10 months

Three

Today Alex is three. Wow. Unbelievable. As I think back to the day he was born, it's still so vivid. He was my easiest pregnancy, easiest labor, easiest delivery. We were so excited when he was born, and ready to take on all of the things that came with being parents to a child with a special need. Thankfully, he's been blessed with amazing surgeons, amazing speech pathologists, and an awesome spirit. Nothing gets this kid down (well, except for Lucas not sharing). He's so lighthearted, playful and fun. He's a "boy" all the way - rough and tumble, roly and poly.

For his birthday, he asked for a "hockey cake." He loves hockey, so we obliged. Tonight, we'll be heading out to Chuck E. Cheese (his choice) to eat and play games. We'll have a birthday party for him in a few weeks - with the flooding, everything kind of was put on hold. - happy birthday Alex! We Love You!

The Flood...

It's been a long few months, with winter, events, working a lot and now this flood...

My kids at the church have busted their rear ends all week fighting this flood. Many have been evacuated. I am saddened by that. They are at a time in life when faith is fragile yet (for many of them, anyway) and to have them work, and work, and work but lose their home's is more than they can bear...so here is what I wrote them on Facebook, the church website and our church blogs...

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

It has been a crazy week. With the flood, rain, wind and snow, we have a lot on our plate. We've been busy sandbagging, building dikes, shoveling, hauling and more. Most of us are tired, sore and aching. But I have to say - the spirits have been high. Every crew we've worked has been full of smiles and laughter, all working together. It is an amazing sight!

But even more than that, you have stepped up to the plate. Our entire community is blessed to have youth with such heart and a desire to serve. You know, one of our signature verses here in our department comes from 1 Timothy 4:12 -

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

You all have worked so hard, and lived out your faith by your deeds. Your hard work and happy faces have shown brightly this week, and are an awesome witness to what we believe and how we, as Christians should live.

As we face the next few days, I want you ALL to know that your work has not been in vain. If you have been evacuated or are in threat of being evacuated, please know that we all are praying for you and your families. And, as hard as it may be right now, please remember that our God loves us. He has given us hope, we have hope through his son, Jesus. Wherever you are this weekend, please know that I (Andrea) and Brandon are so proud of all of your efforts this week and we are praying for everyone during this time. If we can do ANYTHING in the next few days - call, text, Facebook. WHATEVER.

God is an awesome God! He reigns...

Roller Skating.

I went rollerskating for the first tie in 15 years this weekend. Wow. A few things to note - the Skateland here hasn't changed AT ALL. Which isn't necessarily a good thing, given that 15 years ago it hadn't changed since being built in the '70's. Same ridiculous decor, ugly bathrooms and skates with orange wheels! But - it was a lot of fun. On Friday, Brandon (my new co-director) and I took the junior high youth. On Saturday - the senior high. It really was fun. I spent the greater part of Friday reminicing about all the DRAMA that happened there when I was in junior high. Of course, that was the place to be when I was in junior high - and, well, yeah - drama! It's also the place where I "swooned" over my very first "boyfriend." (Okay, so we were in 8th grade, it was sweet and innocent...but, I digress). I realized that all those times in 8th grade that we hung out in the "dark corner of privacy" holding hands...yeah - that wasn't private. Things look much different as an adult!!! :) I also realize that I don't know any songs that are on the radio - but, I sure did jam when Backstreet Boys came on! I had a good time. Despite not being home with the kiddos, it was a chance to relax and be a kid again. And, I can still rollerskate pretty darn good!

Hanging In

I realize I haven't posted in awhile. Part of this has something to do with not really feeling like. It also may be the result of working long hours. But, the main reason is certainly my affinity for Facebook. I send most of my time updating that. As a result, the blog has taken a hit.

We've had a pretty good January so far. We had a fun New Year's Eve celebration and went out with friends. Other than that, we've just been working away. I find that when I get home, I just want to crash and enjoy the kids instead of writing.

It has been a little tough though -I guess. I can't stand this time of year and the sub zero temps we've had for the greater part of the month make it hard to feel good about anything. I notice my SAD is pretty prominent and the foreboding I usually feel in January is back in top form this year. All the world events (coupled with being cooped up) just start to wear on me when the days of sun are short and the cold is intense. There's a reason winter is referred to as "long" and "hard."

It also doesn't help that my cousin's girlfriend, Jayme, was in a horrific car accident over the weekend - she nearly lost her life and is certainly not out of the woods yet. She'll be at Mayo in Rochester for the better part of the next few months... I think that is what's really bothering me and causing the SAD to peak. I've known too many people in the past few months who have been in accidents. And, I've know too many people who lost close friends as the result of vehicle accidents in December. I guess it's just got me a little jumpy. I am aware of my mortality and the reality of the past few months has made me overly nervous. It doesn't help that the roads this winter have been horrible. It is literally dangerous to drive around the corner this winter. I just want it to be over...

But, as always, I know I have a lot to be grateful for. And, I know I should try to focus on that instead. I know that winter is tough for everyone, and I shouldn't stew in self pity...so I'll focus on things that are good.

The kids are good. Jeff is wonderful. I still can't believe how blessed I am to be married to my best friend (REALLY). It'll be 10 years this summer! I still LOVE my job. I can't believe I get to go work with awesome people everyday. I mean, I end up in tears from laughter on a daily basis - primarily thanks to Ann and Martha, our office staff. I am enjoying the joy of Josh and Marissa as they look forward to their wedding (Josh is my assistant). My boss thinks I am doing a good job. My parents and in-laws are great. Jayme is still alive. I have a wonderful home I can afford. The kids I work with keep me smiling and remind me that I have the opportunity to make a difference. I have reconnected with some of my best friends from high school via Facebook. Jeff and I have jobs that are secure as we face recession. I could go on and on. And on.

But, still...I need a little faith...

"But I will sing of your strength,
in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress,
my refuge in times of trouble.

O my Strength, I sing praise to you;
you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God."

Psalm 59: 16 - 17