A Week Ending with Molly!

What a week! Tuesday my roommate from college, Laura, came to visit. It was SO wonderful to see her again...and the fact that it had only been 3 months made me feel like we are gradually making progress at getting together more often :) We had such a wonderful visit, and could have talked for hours, and hours, and hours...We just have to get together again soon - I am sure we will! Thursday was the ultrasound, which I already posted on, Friday was LOTS of homework, and then it was the weekend. Thank goodness!

We had a great weekend - busy and hot, but great nonetheless. Saturday morning, Jeff got up and played golf. I stayed home and relaxed with the boys. My sister-in-law asked me to help them paint a couple of the rooms in their new house. It was fun, frustrating and hot! Sherill had chosen a green color for Jenai's room, and it just wasn't turning out, so we headed to the paint store, got another color, and worked on that...frustrating - because it isn't fun when colors don't look like you think they will! Ian's bathroom turned out fun. They're using a "Cars" theme, and all of the walls look kind of like flames! After a bristling day painting with no breeze and lots of sweat, I went home and Jeff and I took Lucas to a movie - he made it about 45 minutes! We won't be going to a movie again with kids for about - oh - 10 years!

Sunday Jeff went golfing again, came home, mowed the yard, and then we went golfing with Lisa and Steve. It was hot! Windy! We all felt like we had windburn. Much like frostbite, except you are just HOT! Lis and I decided that from now on, we won't think when we golf, and our game will improve :) Despite the heat and wind, we had such a good time! After golf, we drove out to get our new puppy, Molly! She is so cute, and already somewhat trained. She hasn't messed in the house yet, and only cried for about 1 hour last night when we put her in her kennel for bed. The boys just love her. We'll have to work on the gentleness thing, though. They are a little rough, and though they're just trying to play, the poor thing needs a break! I'll have to post pictures later this week. The camera has been doing some weird stuff lately, so we have to get that figured out before our DC trip. Hopefully some new, better quality batteries will be the answer.

This is the last week for my summer classes, so I have a lot of homework to do. I have learned a lot over the past few weeks. Despite the frustrations, I value the fact that I am able to further my education. We'll see if I still feel that way after all the work is done!!!

Have a good week!

Ultrasound

We had our ultrasound today. All went very well. My doctor is very happy with how the baby looks. Healthy, big for it's age, no cleft, no other problems - just good! I was so happy to hear that. It's so strange to me that after two kids, I was still a nervous wreck heading into that ultrasound room today. I was shaking, my heart was pounding, I was even biting my nails - I NEVER bite my nails! I think with the boys' history, I just wanted to know if everything looked okay, and it did! Whew! Even though there are 20 weeks to go (or so) I feel better now, just knowing.

We'll give a pink bubblegum cigar to anyone who can guess what we are (pretty sure) having!

Next Question

So I read this tonight in one of my old "Famous Quote Books"

"There are people who, instead of listening to what is being said... are already listening to what they are going to say themselves." --Albert Guinon

I think ALL people do this from time to time. Anyhow - the quesiton

Should teachers of elementary students (let's say K - 3, cause even by 5 - 6 grade, there's more leeway) teach topics that are very controversial, without knowing where the school board and parents stand? For all current and potential parents, what would you do if your first grader came home and asked you about something they learned in school - something you felt adamantly was wrong/bad/against your beliefs?

Everyone reading this will sure appreciate it when I go back to the lighthearted stuff :)

I Recant

So, last night I started thinking that I should maybe be a little more open-minded to these two very loud people. I recant. There is not, should not, can not be room for people who don't listen. Today they had me in tears. Literally. I started to cry. Within the first 5 minutes of class. I felt totally defeated, and I didn't even get to finish what I was saying. We were talking about family life, social class and education and where kids come from. I got the following words out of my mouth. "When you see newborns laying in the hospital, they all seem to have the same chance at life...

Immediately, I was interrupted by "That's not true," "Not all kids start with the same chances" "What about prenatal care" "What about crack babies" "What about low birth weight kids." I didn't even get to finish. My response was, "You know, I had a low-birth weight preemie and a child born with a birth defect. I know about kids not starting with an equal shot. I'm just not going to try to say anything" and then the tears started. I didn't say a word for an hour. I was trying to control my tears from turning into sobs. The tears were not so much about not being heard, but more, I think, about being keenly aware of the struggles my babies had, and feeling my experience, my feelings were not respected. And, if they would have heard me out, maybe, just maybe, I could have explained myself better...no, no one wants to listen.

If some people in class would have listened, if they would have let me finish, I would have concluded by saying that so much is out of our control. We can't control the homes they go to, the life they have, if they'll suffer abuse, domestic, physical, or sexual; we can't control if they will suffer pain, if they'll lose a parent, if they'll become wards of the state; if they'll get a disease, start drugs, be exposed to so many bad things. As educators, we don't have that control. In many ways, babies have a lot going for them when they are born. But, take two "normal" "healthy" 8 pound babies, send them to different homes, and it's all up in the air. Their lives can go down two very, very different paths, through no fault of their own.

After the tears started, the professor attempted to point out that this class is supposed to be welcoming, it's about hearing other people out, because that is THE ONLY way that multicultural education can ever, will ever work. How can we expect our education system, our nation, to become open to things, if we aren't even respectful enough to listen to what someone has to say. After class, I heard Prof. ask another student why she isn't participating more, and basically the student answered that she has very different opinions from the class - in short, she would be trumped and defeated - this student is the one I defended yesterday regarding teaching same sex education in Kindergarten - she hasn't said a word since yesterday morning.

I'm still in tears. Alex could have gone to any other home. Some parents abort babies because of clefts. He could have had a very, very, very different life, because of his family, his surroundings. And that's all I was trying to say...

Now that I'm Done Ranting...

So, I've gotten over my frustration from my earlier post. Of course we'll have to see how tomorrow goes! Isn't it funny how when we are able to spill something out on paper (or in my case, on web) it helps us relax, and also to analyze how we felt and reassess where we were coming from? Man, if I would have realized long ago that this writing is so therapeutic, I'd have started much sooner.

So, as I reread my post, I started to think that maybe I'm not open to their perspectives. And it's possible that in some ways that was part of it. Class started with me feeling very insulted by #1's comment on mom's - it was very hurtful, especially because I was making an argument/defense for ALL women- how it's just an example of inequality. I wasn't even referring to myself. So, I wonder if I didn't channel some of that anger and sadness into a bit of a more narrow mind.

And, I do agree with their views, in some ways. If we don't educate our students on homosexuality, sex ed, equality, etc., then our society continues to stay the way it is - we don't progress. So I understand where they are coming from. But, I think they failed to understand the argument the rest of us were making. I wonder if they didn't perceive our ideas of why we wouldn't teach Kindergarteners the topic as an unwillingness - a denial - to teach about a very real and integral part of society.

So I guess, I sit here tonight wondering if I am close-minded too. I agree with some of what they brought up and many of their points, but I think that between two people having a debate, there has to be some give and take. Like I wrote previously, in order to feel valid and valued, one has to feel that they are being heard, that the words are being assessed, and that a response is given thoughtfully. There didn't seem to be much thought coming from these two.

But I do have a question, mainly for Laura (ask Adam too!) and Erin (and Bill - don't know when you'll get a chance to read this again :) What's your take on this? As a nontenured teacher, would you broach a controversial subject not in the curriculum without a student bringing it up? If you felt your career would be at risk, would you teach a controversial topic? And, how do you think that these two people's response to fellow educators affects or represents all that is right or wrong with education? I'm really interested to hear what you have to say, er...post!

School Headaches

I am taking summer classes this term, continuing work on my Master's. While it's great to be learning and working my brain, I find myself a little irritated by a few nuances.

First, I wonder if I have become the SOTA - you know, the Student Older Than Average, that drives everyone nuts. I hope not. I know that I am a little conservative on some subjects, and have very liberal views on others. I know that I feel very strongly about my role as a mom, and what I want to get out of my education, so it worries me that I may be viewed in the wrong light.

BUT, what irritates me more, is the two very loudmouthed, extremely liberal people in both of my classes. They seem to have taken it upon themselves to disagree with everything I and others say in the class, and basically spew out their ultra- liberal, ultra-excessive, ultra-forward points at every moment. I thought that the point of learning, and continuing one's education was to open your mind, and see from other's point of view. I guess that's not the case when one thinks they are always right.

Case in point 1:

Today, we were discussing Multi-cultural Education, and the topic of women came up. I made the statement that outside of education, there is a real double standard. Women are not valued for having children. In fact, oftentimes, if a women has children it is harder to get hired, promoted, and raises. This is TRUE. This has been studied. It's been written about. It's part of the glass ceiling and part of the inequality against women. But, Loudmouth 1 insisted on pointing out that I was very wrong, and that as a teacher, she is always expected to be on every committee to stay late, and give more time. It was really insulting for a few reasons - first I had clarified "OUTSIDE EDUCATION." Second - many of us moms may leave right after the school day, but often we work until 12:00am to assure out work gets done. Third - I don't care how many kids I have...when and if I ever teach again, I will be at school late, get there early, advise, coach and participate as much as the next person. I felt that it was a slap in the face to me and all of the moms out there, who successfully juggle it all.

Case in Point 2:

We were discussing multicultural ed and a very well read member of the course stated that unless it came up, she wouldn't teach same-sex marriage to her Kindergarten students. Both Loudmouth's jumped all over her for this, chastising her for her feelings. She went on to explain that as an un-tenured teacher, she's in self-preservation mode. She said that if the opportunity arose, if a teachable moment came up, she would absolutely teach the subject...but it wasn't good enough for them. When I and another student attempted to point out that it's a hot topic right now, and society isn't ready, these two kept referring to desegregation. Ya know something, society wasn't ready then...it was MANDATED by the Government. When a student in the class who is in administration tried to defend us, saying that a lot of what we can and can't teach is mandated by the administrators, state and school boards, these two attempted to make us believe that they would spit in the face of all and do what they wanted. However, when further questioned,it became clear that if their jobs were on the line, they probably wouldn't be so cavalier.

It's so frustrating. It makes for good debate, but it also makes one wonder about education. It's great to want to change society, but it requires a open minded conversation and dialouge, not one in which you chastise others and criticize their very real and understandable reasons for why they may not teach something. If these two had been open to other points of view - not agree, but express understanding, then class would have been a bit more welcoming. It will be interesting to see how the semester wraps up.

Let me conclude by saying if these two were ultra-conservative I would feel the same. It basically revolves around the unwillingness to listen and think about where others are coming from. I agreed with many of their points, and so did others in the class. However, they did not afford us the same luxury.

One Year Later

It's hard to believe that it's been a year since Alex's lip repair surgery. One year ago, we were getting ready to go to bed so we could be at the hospital early for surgery. He was only 10 weeks old, and we had so many concerns and worries about how he tolerate surgery, how he'd feel, eat, sleep, breathe, etc. I was so concerned with how different he would look, and I was surprised afterwards that he looked so different, but was still my baby! So today, a look back at Alex. We've taken lots of pictures throughout the year - some from right before surgery, and others as his healing progressed. To our baby on the one year anniversary of his life-changing surgery!



In the days leading up to his surgery - I loved his WIDE smile! (1o weeks old)




The day after surgery, and one week after (June 13, 06 and June 20, 06)




Six months after surgery (December, 06).




One Year Later (Today, June 11, 2007)



He is such a precious boy! We cherish his smile now, and the pictures of his smile before.