Mother's Day

The hardest job you'll ever love. It's full of laughter, smiles, stress, tears and decisions. There's days you feel like a total failure. Days that you know you are letting your children down. Then, there are days when you feel like you're on the right track. That your kids are turning out just fine. All at once, you are proud of them and the job you are doing. Your regret every time you've yelled or disciplined, but rejoice that you've maintained your composure and don't give in to violence or spanking. You rearrange your entire life for your children. Wonder about every decision, every choice, every minute - if it's what's best for your kids. Most of all, you thank God that he's trusted you with his children and you hope you are making HIM proud. You lay awake thinking about how quick time flies and coming up with ways to stretch these precious days as far as possible - because 18 years will come and go too fast...


Mother's Day 2009 - Lucas: 4 1/2, Alex:3 Lisa:18 months



Mother's Day 2008 - Lucas: 3 1/2, Alex: 2 Lisa: 6 months




Mother's Day 2007 - Lucas: 2 1/2; Alex 1 year; Pregnant with Lisa (1 month)




Mother's Day 2006 - Lucas: 21 months, Alex: 6 weeks



My first Mother's Day - 2005. Lucas: 10 months

Three

Today Alex is three. Wow. Unbelievable. As I think back to the day he was born, it's still so vivid. He was my easiest pregnancy, easiest labor, easiest delivery. We were so excited when he was born, and ready to take on all of the things that came with being parents to a child with a special need. Thankfully, he's been blessed with amazing surgeons, amazing speech pathologists, and an awesome spirit. Nothing gets this kid down (well, except for Lucas not sharing). He's so lighthearted, playful and fun. He's a "boy" all the way - rough and tumble, roly and poly.

For his birthday, he asked for a "hockey cake." He loves hockey, so we obliged. Tonight, we'll be heading out to Chuck E. Cheese (his choice) to eat and play games. We'll have a birthday party for him in a few weeks - with the flooding, everything kind of was put on hold. - happy birthday Alex! We Love You!

The Flood...

It's been a long few months, with winter, events, working a lot and now this flood...

My kids at the church have busted their rear ends all week fighting this flood. Many have been evacuated. I am saddened by that. They are at a time in life when faith is fragile yet (for many of them, anyway) and to have them work, and work, and work but lose their home's is more than they can bear...so here is what I wrote them on Facebook, the church website and our church blogs...

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

It has been a crazy week. With the flood, rain, wind and snow, we have a lot on our plate. We've been busy sandbagging, building dikes, shoveling, hauling and more. Most of us are tired, sore and aching. But I have to say - the spirits have been high. Every crew we've worked has been full of smiles and laughter, all working together. It is an amazing sight!

But even more than that, you have stepped up to the plate. Our entire community is blessed to have youth with such heart and a desire to serve. You know, one of our signature verses here in our department comes from 1 Timothy 4:12 -

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

You all have worked so hard, and lived out your faith by your deeds. Your hard work and happy faces have shown brightly this week, and are an awesome witness to what we believe and how we, as Christians should live.

As we face the next few days, I want you ALL to know that your work has not been in vain. If you have been evacuated or are in threat of being evacuated, please know that we all are praying for you and your families. And, as hard as it may be right now, please remember that our God loves us. He has given us hope, we have hope through his son, Jesus. Wherever you are this weekend, please know that I (Andrea) and Brandon are so proud of all of your efforts this week and we are praying for everyone during this time. If we can do ANYTHING in the next few days - call, text, Facebook. WHATEVER.

God is an awesome God! He reigns...

Roller Skating.

I went rollerskating for the first tie in 15 years this weekend. Wow. A few things to note - the Skateland here hasn't changed AT ALL. Which isn't necessarily a good thing, given that 15 years ago it hadn't changed since being built in the '70's. Same ridiculous decor, ugly bathrooms and skates with orange wheels! But - it was a lot of fun. On Friday, Brandon (my new co-director) and I took the junior high youth. On Saturday - the senior high. It really was fun. I spent the greater part of Friday reminicing about all the DRAMA that happened there when I was in junior high. Of course, that was the place to be when I was in junior high - and, well, yeah - drama! It's also the place where I "swooned" over my very first "boyfriend." (Okay, so we were in 8th grade, it was sweet and innocent...but, I digress). I realized that all those times in 8th grade that we hung out in the "dark corner of privacy" holding hands...yeah - that wasn't private. Things look much different as an adult!!! :) I also realize that I don't know any songs that are on the radio - but, I sure did jam when Backstreet Boys came on! I had a good time. Despite not being home with the kiddos, it was a chance to relax and be a kid again. And, I can still rollerskate pretty darn good!

Hanging In

I realize I haven't posted in awhile. Part of this has something to do with not really feeling like. It also may be the result of working long hours. But, the main reason is certainly my affinity for Facebook. I send most of my time updating that. As a result, the blog has taken a hit.

We've had a pretty good January so far. We had a fun New Year's Eve celebration and went out with friends. Other than that, we've just been working away. I find that when I get home, I just want to crash and enjoy the kids instead of writing.

It has been a little tough though -I guess. I can't stand this time of year and the sub zero temps we've had for the greater part of the month make it hard to feel good about anything. I notice my SAD is pretty prominent and the foreboding I usually feel in January is back in top form this year. All the world events (coupled with being cooped up) just start to wear on me when the days of sun are short and the cold is intense. There's a reason winter is referred to as "long" and "hard."

It also doesn't help that my cousin's girlfriend, Jayme, was in a horrific car accident over the weekend - she nearly lost her life and is certainly not out of the woods yet. She'll be at Mayo in Rochester for the better part of the next few months... I think that is what's really bothering me and causing the SAD to peak. I've known too many people in the past few months who have been in accidents. And, I've know too many people who lost close friends as the result of vehicle accidents in December. I guess it's just got me a little jumpy. I am aware of my mortality and the reality of the past few months has made me overly nervous. It doesn't help that the roads this winter have been horrible. It is literally dangerous to drive around the corner this winter. I just want it to be over...

But, as always, I know I have a lot to be grateful for. And, I know I should try to focus on that instead. I know that winter is tough for everyone, and I shouldn't stew in self pity...so I'll focus on things that are good.

The kids are good. Jeff is wonderful. I still can't believe how blessed I am to be married to my best friend (REALLY). It'll be 10 years this summer! I still LOVE my job. I can't believe I get to go work with awesome people everyday. I mean, I end up in tears from laughter on a daily basis - primarily thanks to Ann and Martha, our office staff. I am enjoying the joy of Josh and Marissa as they look forward to their wedding (Josh is my assistant). My boss thinks I am doing a good job. My parents and in-laws are great. Jayme is still alive. I have a wonderful home I can afford. The kids I work with keep me smiling and remind me that I have the opportunity to make a difference. I have reconnected with some of my best friends from high school via Facebook. Jeff and I have jobs that are secure as we face recession. I could go on and on. And on.

But, still...I need a little faith...

"But I will sing of your strength,
in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress,
my refuge in times of trouble.

O my Strength, I sing praise to you;
you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God."

Psalm 59: 16 - 17

Already???

I can not believe that Christmas Eve is tomorrow. Wow. How did that happen?

Every year, I make a promise to myself that I will slow down and enjoy the holiday season. Every year, I feel that I break that promise. It's actually not so much that I break the promise, it's just that time FLIES. I just can't wrap my head around where the time goes, which of course makes me a little nostalgic in regards to how fast the kids are growing up, how long Jeff and I have been together, and how things have changed. Funny that Christmas time has the tendency to bring out those feelings...

But, despite the fact that it has flown by, I have managed to do a lot of the things I feel are important to do at Christmas time. Laura B. had a quote on her site when I checked in on her today - and I am gonna lift it:

"When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness." ~ Bob Hop comedian.

I agree with Bob Hope, because when I look back at the Christmases from my past, what really sticks in my memory are the little things. I guarantee I don't remember a damn thing I got or whether there were tons of gifts... I do remember that grandma always had popcorn balls. The small table around the corner where the goodies were. There was always Apple Cider simmering on the table. The Great Grandma's were always there. I always sat next to Grandpa at the kitchen table....the simple things.

And that's why I do things at Christmas that other people see as work. I love to make all of the goodies - even though it takes time. I want my kids, as well as my nieces and nephew to look back at the Christmas time of their childhood and remember some of those things. So, I always make popcorn balls. There will always be lots of goodies (in fact, the same exact ones grandma always had) and hopefully, one of the kids will remember always sitting next to Grandpa or Grandma. I want our children to tell their kids that when they were little, we'd all pile in to the car, get McD's and look at Christmas (which is what we did tonight). I am very much a "tradition" person, and this is how we do it...

So, as is tradition on my blog...today's lyrics.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Let your heart be light.
From now on our troubles will be out of sight.
Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Make the yuletide gay.
From now on our troubles will be far away.

Once again, as in olden days,
happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends, who are dear to us,
gather near to us once more.

Through the years, we all will be together
If the fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

Mental Health Time... Ahhhhh

It's 9:30 on Saturday December 6. And I think I am nearly in heaven. Everyone is sleeping. I've got a fire burning, the Christmas lights are on, an evergreen scented candle is burning, You've Got Mail is on TV and a Santa Hat is atop my head. What could make it better you ask? Two Diet Cokes, 2 pieces of Lefse and Venison sausage...AHHH! I haven't had this is so dang long. Everyday is so hectic, the kids keep us hopping, and normally by this time, I'm exhausted. But, there is something oddly invigorating about an organized house amidst the chaos! And, I really believe that women do not - absolutely do not - take the time to pamper themselves with things that calm them. We get so busy taking care of everyone around us that we forget to take care of ourselves. So tonight...I'm doing that!

We had a great day. For the first time in weeks, the entire house (ah hem: upstairs) is clean, organized, and the Christmas tree is up. I must say - it looks so nice up there. The family spent the evening downstairs, putting up the "family" tree, enjoying the fire and going through all of our special ornaments. The kids have so many special ones. The tree is full! I think we'll so have to get a bigger tree. But the boys had a great time putting up their ornaments, and asking questions about them. Lis played with all the boxes and tissue paper!

But, a great day was what we needed after this week. It was actually good in general, save for the paint disaster. Yeah - last Sunday, an ENTIRE can of paint bounced down the steps, lost the top after the first bounce and splattered paint everywhere - which in turn led to new carpet, which in turn led to tearing the house apart to get it installed, which in turn led to the chaos that we got cleaned up today. It looks really nice though, and the best part: it was el cheapo. 79 cents/square foot. Also, because it wasn't all ruined, we repurposed some of it, and Isi now has new carpet in her room! So the week was spent in total limbo --- which taught us a few valuable lessons.

1) Paint at the top of the steps is a bad idea. If it has to go down, for gosh sakes - take it downstairs.

2) Only re carpet a few rooms at a time.

3) We will never remodel because of the chaos.

This last one is a big deal, because we were in full swing of remodeling plans. We were going to change our kitchen, move the laundry downstairs, add a garage stall and build a mudroom. Seriously - the plans are drawn and we've spent a couple hundred on drawings/etc. But, better to find out this way then get a divorce midway through :) Nope - no longer - ain't gonna happen. We're going to move instead (when the time comes.)

Anyways - have a great weekend. I am going to continue my heaven, add some Mannheim Steamroller to the mix and start wrapping gifts :) Oh - and a little treat...here's the fam with Santa!