I Recant

So, last night I started thinking that I should maybe be a little more open-minded to these two very loud people. I recant. There is not, should not, can not be room for people who don't listen. Today they had me in tears. Literally. I started to cry. Within the first 5 minutes of class. I felt totally defeated, and I didn't even get to finish what I was saying. We were talking about family life, social class and education and where kids come from. I got the following words out of my mouth. "When you see newborns laying in the hospital, they all seem to have the same chance at life...

Immediately, I was interrupted by "That's not true," "Not all kids start with the same chances" "What about prenatal care" "What about crack babies" "What about low birth weight kids." I didn't even get to finish. My response was, "You know, I had a low-birth weight preemie and a child born with a birth defect. I know about kids not starting with an equal shot. I'm just not going to try to say anything" and then the tears started. I didn't say a word for an hour. I was trying to control my tears from turning into sobs. The tears were not so much about not being heard, but more, I think, about being keenly aware of the struggles my babies had, and feeling my experience, my feelings were not respected. And, if they would have heard me out, maybe, just maybe, I could have explained myself better...no, no one wants to listen.

If some people in class would have listened, if they would have let me finish, I would have concluded by saying that so much is out of our control. We can't control the homes they go to, the life they have, if they'll suffer abuse, domestic, physical, or sexual; we can't control if they will suffer pain, if they'll lose a parent, if they'll become wards of the state; if they'll get a disease, start drugs, be exposed to so many bad things. As educators, we don't have that control. In many ways, babies have a lot going for them when they are born. But, take two "normal" "healthy" 8 pound babies, send them to different homes, and it's all up in the air. Their lives can go down two very, very different paths, through no fault of their own.

After the tears started, the professor attempted to point out that this class is supposed to be welcoming, it's about hearing other people out, because that is THE ONLY way that multicultural education can ever, will ever work. How can we expect our education system, our nation, to become open to things, if we aren't even respectful enough to listen to what someone has to say. After class, I heard Prof. ask another student why she isn't participating more, and basically the student answered that she has very different opinions from the class - in short, she would be trumped and defeated - this student is the one I defended yesterday regarding teaching same sex education in Kindergarten - she hasn't said a word since yesterday morning.

I'm still in tears. Alex could have gone to any other home. Some parents abort babies because of clefts. He could have had a very, very, very different life, because of his family, his surroundings. And that's all I was trying to say...